Mother’s death leaves future uncertain for her disabled children
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The Fitzgibbon family, clockwise from top left: Michael Fitzgibbon Sr., Michael Fitzgibbon Jr., Melissa Fitzgibbon, and Jackie Fitzgibbon-Strauss.
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Chester — A family in Chester is struggling after the death of wife and mother Jackie Fitzgibbon-Strauss.
“She was a very special person,” said Michael Fitzgibbon Sr., her grief-stricken husband of 24 years. “She was sincere and down-to-earth. She never complained, even when she was dying. I don’t mean disrespect to anyone’s wife, but she was just the best.”
With Michael on disability because of a back injury, Jackie was the family breadwinner. She took the Shortline Bus to the city every day until just a few months before her death. She would leave at 6 in the morning and not return home until 6:30 in the evening while she was still able to work.
Her fellow commuters told Michael that whenever they asked Jackie about her health, “she would always get off the subject of how she was doing to ask how they were doing,” he said.
Jackie died of a rare and aggressive form of lung cancer. She got sick in June 2007 and died earlier this year, on Feb. 23, at the age of 47. She is buried in St. Columba cemetery.
Michael lives in Whispering Hills with his two adult children. Both are disabled and unable to care for themselves. His son, Michael Jr., is 24 and mentally retarded. His daughter, Melissa, is 22 and has Down’s Syndrome. Michael Jr. and Melissa graduated from the special education program at BOCES in Goshen and now attend Connections, a day care program in Middletown.
“My wife just adored those kids,” he said.
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And she worried about what would happen to the family after she was gone. Her children need round-the-clock supervision. Jackie told her husband that she would understand if he put their children in a group home. But Michael said he would worry about them too much, and wants to keep them with him for as long as possible. To do that, he needs help.
Role reversal
About 15 years ago, it was Melissa’s life that was in jeopardy. As a little girl she had four open heart surgeries to replace a faulty valve.
Jackie was constantly at the girl’s side, Michael said. At one point the girl’s condition deteriorated so much, a priest came to administer last rites. But she pulled through, against all the doctors’ expectations.
Years later, when Jackie became ill, roles reversed for mother and daughter. This time it was Melissa who stood vigil, with Melissa tending to her mother’s every need and even answering her cell phone to let her know who was asking after her.
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Michael said his son understands much less than Melissa does. Michael Jr. still asks for his mother, as if he expects her to return.
Originally from the Bronx, the family moved to Chester 11 years ago and have no family nearby. A personal care aide comes to the home to help out.
Jackie’s siblings, Clark Shockley, Sharon DePietro, Kevin Strauss, and Paul Strauss, are holding a fundraiser for Jackie’s children in Yonkers (please see sidebar). Anyone from the local community who would like to attend is welcome. Also provided is the family’s address in Chester for anyone who would like to help the family with donations.
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Suggested donation: $40, plus raffle tickets at $10 each
Family’s address: Michael Fitzgibbon Jr. and children, 1104 Whispering Hills, Chester, N.Y. 10918
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